GOBIBLOG #9

Greetings friends!

I can’t believe that June is already here. Time goes by quickly especially when it’s counted in dog years. May was a busy month with lots to report about various event related activities. Even though I don’t go to any events in person, (or should I say “in canine?”), I live them vicariously through Mom and through my various assistants who keep me up to speed on what’s happening around the country. After all, someone has to stay home to keep order in the house which is pretty damned hard considering what slobs Sluggers and Bruiser are – and I can’t even begin to describe the utter chaos that surrounds “The Girls,” Molly the Coonhound and Jane the Rescue Dog!

Mom just got back from working at an event as an FEI (and here comes that confusing word again) Steward/Stewart/Stuart - whatever. You get the drift! So what else is new? The last day that she was gone, I had a great time eating a bunch of caterpillars that I subsequently hurled all over the kitchen as a greeting for her with when she got in very late Sunday night. She said her plane was delayed for five hours because of Hurricane Barry in Philadelphia. I’m not sure what a Hurricane Barry is, but it sounds scary. I’m not actually sure I know where or what Philadelphia is either, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, she didn’t think my barfed up caterpillar sculptures were very funny. Not much sense of humor at one in the morning! She got over it though, and after some sleep, she reported that she’d been working at an event called Jersey Fresh. Now there’s a weird name which I really don’t get. Does it refer to a cow with no manners? Milk that hasn’t gone sour? A brand new British sweater? Can someone help me out here? Despite the name, she said she saw most of the top horses in the country which has got to be pretty impressive. She did say that the weather was very hot. I hate very hot weather, but at Jersey, she said that the veterinarians threw pails of water and bags of ice at the horses, and that made them feel better. I hope no one ever throws pails of water and bags of ice at me. I’d be compelled to bite them!

The big AEC news involves a fish. How weird is that? Apparently, the Wellpride company that sponsors the AEC’s has also agreed to pay for a sculpture of a fish to be jumped on the cross country course. (There is already a dachshund jump on the Maui Jim course that my friend Nice Jon who feeds me cookies carved, and which is named after dead Hampton who bit Mark Phillips twice). Anyway, the fish which is actually a cod was carved by someone named Mat who has a beard, and we are all awaiting its arrival. I held out for Mat to make an elephant jump to be dedicated to me, but so far, not much luck.

Speaking of elephants ……..

I now have four elephant toys. There is Grey Elephant from Sheila in Arizona and Blue Elephant from Grandma Ana from Texas. Two weeks ago, Burghley and Blair from New York sent me Light Blue Elephant and Tennis Ball Elephant (who is kind of bizarre looking with crossed eyes, but who had a great squeaker that I destroyed the first day). I love my herd! However, the BIG elephant news is this. I AM NOW THE PROUD FOSTER PARENT OF A BABY AFRICAN ELEPHANT WHO LIVES IN THE ST. LOUIS ZOO!!!!!! An admirer of this Blog who wished to remain anonymous (though I now know who it is) signed me up for a year as a foster parent. Now is that the coolest thing or what? I don’t know what my foster child’s name is, but do you all think it would be OK if I suggested “Gobi” to the zoo people – or does that seem too self serving? I hate self-servingness. The picture below is a scan of the picture that they sent me of my elephant. How many dachshunds that you know have elephant children – or write Blogs for that matter? Not many I’ll bet!

My other news that is pretty exciting is that I have a girl friend. Her name is Splash. and she’s blonde and thinks I’m handsome. She even shares her cookies with me. She belongs to my best friend Linda who stays here when Mom is away. Splash stays here too so I kind of like it when Mom goes away! (Don’t tell Mom I said that. It would hurt her feelings!) Splash is a “Nova Scotia Duck Trolling Retriever,” and she’s really cute and sexy. I haven’t told her though that I haven’t a clue what “Duck Trolling” is – and I’m not sure she knows either. Remember, she is blonde!

My only other news isn’t so terrific. I had to have a tooth pulled, and my vet told Mom that she has to brush my teeth every morning. This is the absolute pits even though she uses chicken flavored tooth paste (which Mom says really grosses her out). I’m really well behaved about it though despite the fact that I hate it, and as a result, I get a cookie afterwards. Life is after all one long series of tradeoffs!

Before I get on with my busy day, I’ll leave you with this month’s Gobifacts which I learned from the book I talked about last month, “Elephantoms.” Here goes. Elephants have over 100,000 muscles in their trunks, and they produce 300 gallons of methane every single day. That’s probably even more than Bruiser makes – and he can easily clear a room!

Have a good rest of the spring. We are supposed to have a ton of cicadas here in Illinois, but so far I haven’t seen any. I wonder if they taste as good as caterpillars?

Lots of love,

Gobi